it's that time again. it seems like there's some sort of internal clock in my head that keeps perfect time and communicates through my loins and heart, and then finally decides that it's over. one day we'll be very happy and the next my heart will just shut off and from that point on every move is well calculated to help bring an end to the relationship. and if you ask me, i have no idea why.#

Hi There, Are you about to complain about women?#

Yes....#

Do you mind if we interrupt and record this for a segment in our documentary TV show?#

I guess, but it's kind of hard to say... I don't want to reveal the secrets of my inner workings so that future women I try to court who have seen your documentary know all the terrible things I will do and think about them#

I see, well, I give you my word that they won't see it#

In effort of saving je time in creating bogus plot lines for using artificial characters to talk about his own struggles I will concede and ask this thinly veiled plot element that is more fitting of pornography than a blog and continue in my melodramatic soliloquy on the antagonizing effects of females.#

Sounds good to me, nameless voice!#

it's very difficult to reason with myself during this time, because my head says, "Hey dude, she's pretty awesome, we never fight and she's just so bright." But that just isn't enough anymore.#

Have you tried to think about what was missing?#

Obviously I've tried to figure out what some obscure part of me that i don't realize is thinking is thinking about wanting but not knowing this is rather inherent in the problem. i have begun to hypothesize about what could be the cause based on what's different about them and me or what's the same between them, but it's been a very futile task.#

What about some broad strokes? Any ideas?#

I do have one lead actually. I have a big ego, and because of that big ego I think that I am very ambitious and talented. I have high hopes for myself and I hold myself to a high standard, that is at least if you listen to me tell the story - which you are. So, anyways, I was thinking that, "Hey! None of these girls you hang out with are ambitious at all!"#

Are you sure they're not ambitious, or is it just that they aspire to something that you're not interested in?#

Ah Ha! Think you can trick me like that, obviously I don't think they are ambitious because I just said so, but I agree that there is a slight possibility that I am wrong and am actually just expecting others to fulfill my dreams rather than their own, but for some reason I doubt this - as you will soon see. So, I actually asked myself the same question, only I phrased it a little bit differently, "What do these girls appear to be aspiring for, if anything?"
(pause)#

And the answer?#

Art School! Every single girl wants to go to art school. It amazes me that out of all the many beautiful, intelligent women I meet, every single one (well, actually not every one, but a very high percentage,) wants to be an artist. And most of these girls don't actually do art of any kind, they must think that they will just pick it up once they get there. Now I am not an artist of the traditional nature, but I presume it's not like poker, you don't just pick up a life long interest and commitment to it once you're out of high school.#

So are you saying everybody who goes to art school is Not Cool(tm)?#

No of course, just the girls I know....#

And we're out of time! Next week on "Boys Born With Silver Spoons Attached to Their Mouths Complaining About the Beautiful Women They Have The Time And Money to See", we'll be talking to Hollywood actor who says that all the models he dates are too skinny!#